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The Feeding Of Goslings

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A Walk In The Woods

A Useful Gadget

One night many years ago the Wee M@nny called us up and said,

You’ll have to come up and see this great gadget we’ve got. It’s a massager. It massages away all your aches and pains. I got it of some woman who came to the door.

So we went up the next Friday and the massager wasn’t mentioned. Then B€rt said,

So what about this great gadget you were telling us about?

Mrs The Wee M@nny says,

Huh! That was a great waste of money for sure. Do you know how much that stupid thing cost us? £29.99! He was drunk you know.

The Wee M@nny says,

Not atall! That’s a great wee item.

She says,

She could see you were full. And she was determined we were going to buy it. She had no intention of leaving this house until you’d handed her the money!

You’re talking rubbish. It’s a great wee machine. Takes away all your aches and pains and you could use it for sex as well.

I hardly think so.

We say,

Oh get it out ‘til we see it.

So the Wee M@nny produces this box and brings out this big rounded lump of smooth metal . He switches it on to vibrate and hands it to me. It’s as heavy as hell. It would give you aches and pains just to lift it. It’s hard to know what possible use it could be to anyone.

Mrs The Wee M@nny goes on,

So if you think it’s so great how come you phoned her up the next day to try to get your money back?

And I say,

And did she say no?

And he says,

She did. Oul bitch. I only bought it to get her out of the house. D’ye want to buy it of us?

And we say,

No!